Saiyans and Diets Don't Mix
by Vejiitas Demon
Summary: what happens when Chi Chi and Bulma decide to put their saiyan men on diets?Finally, they will rule the universe!Takes place in those 3 years, so yes, chibi Trunks is on a diet as well.Chi Chi Bulma bashing


I don't own Dragonball/Z/GT. if i did, Bulma and Chi Chi would be proven evil. I would be with Vegeta too. But sadly, I don't own the show, so you really can't sue now, can you?  
  
This has a bit of Invader Zim things, so if you haven't seen the show, GO WATCH! puts up shield against Chi Chi and Bulma fans....  
  
ON WITH THE FIC  
  
It was another perfectly normal day at the Son residence. Gohan and Goku were outside training with Piccolo for the androids and Chi Chi was inside flipping through circulars. Normally she would not be so stingy with cash, but since stocks were down lately their flow of money wasn't so great. She picked up the Pathmark circular and opened it, finding that the low fat foods were cheaper than the sugary treats she usually bought. Smart Ones pockets were one dollar cheaper than Hot Pockets, low fat tofu ice cream was three dollars cheaper than the Breyer's she bought, and veggie cheese was one dollar and twenty five cents less than Kraft. Even the calorie free, fat free, sodium free, lactade free, carbohydrate free, and taste free was cheaper than her previous purchases.  
  
A thought struck the woman's mind. Biting her bottom lip, she looked from her frying pan to the circular, deciding which device was more torturous. Pushing herself away from the table, Chi Chi practically ran for the phone to dial Bulma's number. Her fingers moved quicker than they had in years, and in less than two rings Bulma's cheery voice answered. "Bulma, I have the best idea. Mind if I come over?" She paused a moment, waiting for the response. "Great, I'll be there in a few minutes." Chi Chi placed the phone back and smiled wickedly to herself. A soft chuckle that rivaled Vegeta's escaped her lips, soon turning into a coffing fit. Grabbing her purse, the raven haired woman raced outside to the air car, pulling away for Capsule Corperation.  
  
Since the evil woman was so excited over her new plan, she was at Bulma's in less than fifteen minutes. Circulars in hand, Chi Chi proudly walked to the door and knocked three times. An over happy woman with blonde hair came to the door, with that never ending smile that graced her face. (AN: HAHA that rhymed!) "Chi Chi! How are you? Oh it's great to see you, how is that cute husband and son of yours? Would you like some tea or cookies?" The woman ushered the young woman inside, asking all sorts of questions. They were all answered to the woman's delight.  
  
Chi Chi spotted Bulma sitting at the kitchen table quietly, baby Trunks in his high chair throwing food. "Mother will you please excuse us?" The question was asked quietly, yet sternly, like a command. Her mother smiled politly and pranced out of the room like nothing was wrong in the world. Once both feet were outside the room, both women narrowed their eyes and smirked. "So Chi Chi, what is so important?"  
  
The evil mother and wife threw the circulars on the table, catching the aqua haired mother's attention. "This, is our key to victory. We can conquer the saiyans with these." Bulma looked down at the circulars and back up to Chi Chi with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Chi Chi, these are food circulars. You bothered me for this?" She sighed in dissapointment and rubbed her temples in aggrivation.  
  
A larger smirk formed on the younger one's face. "This will bring us to the top. Look, every diet product is cheaper than the original. Now answer me, what is a saiyan's three favorite things?"  
  
Bulma thought for a moment. "Let's see, hmmmm. Fighting," she paused and smirked, "sex, and probably..." The rich genius didn't finish her sentence, when her eyes became wide, then narrowed in evilness. "To the lab!" Both of them ran to the other side of the kitchen, pressing a small button to reveal a toilet. The genius jumped in first, tugging on a red handle and was flushed down. Chi Chi was next, laughing all the way. Chibi Trunks stared in amusement for a second, before resuming to his food fight with the kitchen. (AN: toilet thing is from Invader Zim, just to let you know)  
  
In the Lab.....  
  
The two mad men, err mad women, took their seats at the large computer. They each typed in a secret password, giving them access to the files. "Bulma, a saiyan is never strong without their food. If we put them on diets, we will surely have control." She only nodded in response, typing a bit more.  
  
"Welcome to Pathmark Ms. Brief. What would you like to order?" The monotone female voice wasn't very thrilling, but it did well enough. Chi Chi and Bulma scrolled through the list of diet foods, fruits, and vegetables (the horror!). Each chose many different items, but nothing was high in calories or fat. Their plan was flawless. No matter what, the saiyans would soon bow to them, and they would be the new queens of the universe! (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SAVE US)  
  
After ordering, the two spun around to face eachother and did their secret handshake. Nobody but the members of this organization know the secret handshake, so I can't tell you what it is either. Each threw their head back in evil laughter, finally knowing how to defeat a saiyan. They had tried many methods before. Chi Chi tried to stop them from fighting or training, but Goku's adorableness kept getting to her. She could yell and scream all she wanted, but his child-like nature always won over. Gohan worked for a while, before he took that damn trip to Namek.  
  
Bulma also had a scheme. Starve the saiyans of sex. Their second favorite thing. It wasn't difficult for Chi Chi, but really, who could refuse the sexy saiyan prince? He easily seduced her night after night, got her pregnant, and left. After that he began to starve her of sex, which wasn't fair. But thats living with the saiyan prince for you.  
  
Food was their last option. It was perfect in every which way. None of the saiyans would ever shop, expecting their women to cook for them. Oh they would cook for them, but not appetizing foods. It would be the most horrible expierence of the poor men's lives. The hell with the androids, this was more important!  
  
A new male monotone voice came up. "Ms. Brief, the pig headed son of a bitch has entered. He is calling for you and demanding food." Both knew that had to be Vegeta. Goku's code name was moronic child, Gohan's was disobedient brat, and Trunks' was loud mouth baby. The women acknowledged the computer, walking together to the lab exit.  
  
Bulma and Chi Chi walked out of the lab together laughing sweetly, talking about nothing. They greeted Vegeta together, Chi Chi saying good bye and leaving. It was time to put their plan in action.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ BWAHAHAHAHAHA Evil! very evil women! I can see it, can't you? ducks behind rock avoiding objects being thrown by Chi Chi and Bulma fans.  
  
Tell me what you think. Not sure if i am going to finish this or not, it's just a writing exercise. Please review! 


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